When I woke up this morning I was in jail. I didn't remember the night before, or the whole day before as far as that goes. The jailer brought me a wonderful breakfast of runny oats, hard toast, and a cup of something warm and brown. My guess was coffee, but it could have been rusty tap water for the blandness of it.
In the holding cell next to mine was a person of undetermined sex, snoring as if their life depended on it. I tried to call out to the guard several times, but all I ever got was a muffled "shut up in there", so I decided to calm down and try to put the pieces together...if I could.
Okay, I was in jail. That much was obvious, but where the jail was I had no idea. I didn't recognize the jailer that brought my breakfast, but that didn't mean much since I didn't know any Police officers or jailers anyway.
The person in the next cell seemed healthy enough, probably sleeping off a binge, but I don't think that could help me any.
As I leaned against the cool brick wall, trying to remember anything from the previous twenty-four hours, I slid back and pinched my backside against something in my back pocket. Pockets! I never thought to check my pockets, but didn't the cops usually empty your pockets whenever you went to jail? Maybe I wasn't in a regular jail, because I had stuff in my pockets.
Back pocket held my wallet...no mystery there, John Hill, 32 years old. No money, no credit cards, and no pictures.
I had a pink, wide tooth comb in my other back pocket...that one was strange, because I had a really short buzz cut. I placed the wallet and the comb on the cot next to me. Standing up, I reached into my front right pocket. A folded drink coaster from a place called the "Breeze", and a toothpick with cellophane crinkle thing at one end. I added them to the others on the cot.
Reaching into my other front pocket...I pulled out a picture that had been ripped in half and taped back together. It was a picture of a beautiful blond...a beautiful blond that I had never met, believe me I would remember this girl.
Looking at the stuff on my cot, the wallets with my I.D., the pink comb, drink coaster, frilly toothpick, and the beautiful girl. What in the world did I do yesterday? Who was this girl in the picture...a pink comb, that comb could belong to the girl? Did I meet this girl at "Breeze"? The toothpick could have been in a club sandwich - one of my favorites-, or maybe an appetizer. I tried arranging the items differently to see if anything would trigger my memory, but nothing did. Lunch came and went, and still I was no closer to solving the events of my recent past. I decided that sooner or later someone would come to talk to me, or bail me out, so I decided to take a nap to pass the time.
Instead of sleeping, my mind started to go over the limited possibilities of what could have happened. Finally, when I was just about to fall asleep I remembered I was supposed to meet my buddy Bob at the "Houston Bar and Grill" last night. Yeah!, I did go and meet him last night. I sat up in the cot...it was starting to come together. My wallet with my I.D., empty, normally full of spending cash and at least one credit card especially when going out on the town like I was last night. I went and met up with Bob at the Houston and ate a Turkey Club with steak fries, that’s right, my treat. That was when Bob started telling me about this new club that was opening up in the next town thirty miles away, the "Breeze" it had some sort of tropical theme, he really wanted to go see what it was like. He promised me an introduction to his cousin, Christie- the blond in the picture. He gave me that photo so I could recognize her just in case he found a girl of his own first. The picture tore in half when he pulled it out of his wallet, and the waitress at the Houston taped it for him. I remembered us driving to the Breeze, and paying the cover charge-again my treat, and finding Christie and her friend, Sally. Bob and Sally started to dance, and Christie and I started to talk.
Dull. That’s all I remember about Bob's cousin. She had to check her make-up about every five minutes and she handed me her comb, her pink comb, while she went to dance with some cowboy. Jail, I remember now. I was finally able to drag Bob away from his new girl and on the drive home the car broke down. A wrecker stopped and wanted to have a credit card as collateral in order to tow the car to a garage. Bob had been drinking quite a bit and when I told him that since I paid for everything else, he needed to give the driver his credit card. I remember a fight, and the cops coming, and than waking up in the jail. My credit card was gone, so I guess I lost the fight.
Okay, I got put in the clink, but what about Bob? And than it hit me...the drunk in the next cell. Just about that time I hear a familiar voice mutter "Man! What happened to me last night" "I'm in jail!!"
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
As some of you may or may not know I and my family have just returned from a vacation in Colorado. We journeyed across Kansas, through the horizontal hills of the great "bread basket of America", the wonderful smell of "cow money" (as I like to call it) and at last into the mysterious land of the Colorado. Side note: I only almost peed my pants once on the way out, but thanks to the Blue Hereford gas/ restaurant thingy I made it. whew! (Not that Pete wouldn't stop, it's just wasn't any place to stop) Our reunion was just fine, and I got to get caught up on some old childhood friends. The McGuires and, well, I guess just the McGuires.
We went over the Wet Mt. pass on a nice ride, and over Skyline Dr., and to the Prison Museum on Canon City (very fun actually), and to Red Canyon Park. Tons of pictures.
We than went to Parker to mooch off my sister and her family for a few days. They put out a good spread by the way. Went on a train thingy to Denver, walked around a little and ate at the Cheesecake Factory...yummo! Watched some silly movies and almost went to a writers meeting at a bookstore. :) Came home across Kansas again ( I like Kansas actually) and almost peed my pants again ( Blue Hereford saves the day once again) and when we came home the naked ladies were almost gone from our yard.