Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Miss Horn and the Sticker

When I was around first or second grade, my teacher (supervisor) was my cousin also. Miss Horn happened to be her name. If you called her Mrs. Horn she would say that was her mother's name, I never heard the Mrs./Miss diff. so I never got it until I was older.

Anyway, my mom was talking to Miss. Horn after school about something, probably something my sister did that was BAD. Not really, because my mom was Miss. Horn's auntie, so she was probably talking about Miss Horn's sister that was bad. he, he. Who, by the way, was the teacher for the older kids (high school?) I think at the time. I must have been cramping their style or something because when I asked for a cousin picked one out and put it right in the middle of my forehead. I asked her "what is it?" and she said,"a little lamb, just like you" awwww, how sweet you might say,( I hear it now) and I went skipping throughout the building telling everyone I saw"I have a's a little lamb,JUST LIKE ME!" and than I would skip off leaving them with puzzled looking faces. I came upon one high school girl who was a little mean and told her my little speech (which, by the way, was something because I was very shy, but not as much as my sister), and she said"yeah, a little lamb, just like you alright" I pulled the sticker off and looked at it.

I put it back on (I don't know why it would make a diff., but I did it) ,and went to the bathroom to look in the mirror at my sticker. It was a big pink and black farm pig! I don't think they even make those kind of pigs anymore, but it was a pig. My heart was crushed, and I carried the weight of the pain for at least the rest of the day.

Years forward, and I am talking to my cousin. I told her about that sticker memory and she didn't laugh! She apologized to me. She said she should have not done that to me, and maybe she thought I saw what it was and was being sarcastic. She apologized without even laughing or teasing. I loved her more in that moment than I ever knew I could. It wasn't long after that she went to be with the Lord after a long time fight against cancer. I wasn't as close to her as a grown up because of who I was married to at the time, and other situations, but I don't have one single week go by that I don't think of her. Her testimony lives on whenever I think about how her faith in God reflected in her life. I wrote this poem/essay(?) after I dreamed it, about one month before she passed. I have to eyes are leaking.

Gail- July 19,2000

(A dream I had)


The room was large.

As I walked in to find my seat...I noticed friends from my childhood.

People that I had not seen for years.

It was the feeling of being in the right place.

On stage the musicians began to play.

Everywhere I looked, I saw loved and dead.

And I saw you.

Up on the stage in front of us all...praising God and testifying.

You were beautiful.

Thick black hair, clear skin, and strong body.

You wore a floral dress with burgundy, and shades of pink on a black background.

You told about how you had suffered, and of how God had made you well.

And than you sang.

I don't remember the song, but I do remember the feeling of peace and joy.

I don't know what heaven will be like, but I know you and I will be there... and you will sing.


Jen said...

As I type through my tears...

That was beautiful. I think about her a lot too. And dream about her sometimes.

She was a beautifully wonderful woman. And I don't think I'll ever stop missing her.

Momstheword said...

My eyes are leaking, too. I think often about how she would always try to compliment or praise each child at least once a day. She had one day when she was getting desperate in the case of one boy, Carl C. Finally as he left the school for the day, he held the door for a girl, and finally she could praise him!

Kay said...

She sang, "Then Came the Morning"
She sang that at her funeral. Well, that sounds weird. But they played a recording of it and it was one of the single most touching and powerful things ever.
I miss her all the time and dream about her a lot, too.

QOTW said...

I have always thought of Gail as a part of me. When she left I wasn't complete. I didn't know how much I needed her and depended on her. She was a better person that I am. Right after she left I said over and over, "I want her back." I wish she could have come back. I guess Thursdays are for crying. Thanks for all the reminders. P