Monday, March 31, 2008

Part 2- Strongholds

This is continued from yesterdays post. I had gone through a divorce and was living back home with my parents. Long story shorter, I got a job and got back into church. My Cousin was pastoring at my mom's church ( they had trouble of their own- the church that is) and received some good teaching. Moved out into a little apartment and after around a year or two moved in with my sister and her family to attend community collage in the Springs. They moved to Kansas, and I moved back home and got matched-made to my now hubby. Courted around 3 months and visited back and forth across Kansas and Married in July,2001. The years were hard I now had 3 young kids- 5, 7, and 10. Didn't have to work and soon became depressed. It became so bad over the next few years that there were many talks and starting overs and finally 2 years ago I was sent to Colorado and told that if I was serious about changing (yes, it was me for the most part) I would show it by seeking out counseling. My hubby received some godly advice from a dear friend that how could he work on our marriage if I wasn't here. So I came home, and meanwhile I had decided that I wouldn't get a divorce, God doesn't answer prayers by breaking up a marriage and I would do whatever I needed to to fight for my marriage and kids (they called me mom after like 5 days-on their own) even if I had to tell someone my deep dark feelings and even cry in front of someone. This is an interesting thought I have- I don't believe that a person can get saved with out the Holy Spirit, and I also don't believe that a person can just turn back to God with out the Holy Spirit. I had cried for years ...bitter tears and had self loathing and "dark thoughts" aka suicidal thoughts for a long time... crying out to God "help me, help me change! I don't want to be this way, unloving bitter, full of anger for no reason" and God didn't seem to be there, didn't seem to answer me. But He was there, and He did answer me- in His time. God knows when we are ready to come to him, some people it's a long hard trip down, while for others it just takes a little bad in life. I was at rock bottom and God caught me right before I hit. We went to a Pastor /counselor by the name of Jim White- some of you may know him. He was a God send, and knew what to do and say. It was a donation as you can pay thing so that also helped. The first visit almost didn't happen- a double booking- but the young couple gave us the time. Satan tried all along to keep us from going, but we always made the appointments. One of the first things Bro. White did was ask me about my first marriage. He said that when a woman is abandoned (I was) it causes the some bad problems that are also common in abuse and other bad things. He prayed me through a prayer asking God to remove the "soul-tie" that I had with my first husband. Because we were married we had a bond a tie that held us together and ever with the divorce, we were still bound. God removed it and I felt it go. It lifted a weight off of me. That was the first thing we dealt with. Tomorrow I will talk about the Strongholds and what they are and how they get in a Christians life and maybe have room to tell about how to remove them. In case you think in the back of your mind that this is all emotional whatever and that God doesn't deal this way, let me say that your right. God deals above our emotions, but we are emotional creatures, and a lot of what we do is pure emotion. Read Jeremiah 33:3, and tomorrow you will see what God will do when you ask Him too.

Jeremiah 33:3
Call to me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.


Robin said...

Thanks for sharing Julie! I'm glad you found a Pastor/counselor and were able to work through your pain.

Anonymous said...

God is amazing. Thanks for Hubby's Christian friend that had wise advice and a Christian Pastor/counselor. God answers our paryers wholly. May your blog be helpful to someone that is holding pain within.